The UC presidential election is in full swing, but not every important issue is being addressed. Satire V has compiled a definitive list of 16 issues that no UC candidate is talking about:

1) The female orgasm

2) How to get a new napkin out of the dispenser when it’s really filled to the brim

3) Why Jessica won’t answer my calls

4) Why you park on a driveway but drive on a parkway

5) The fact that Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999-2002) was basically Saw for children