SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Leave No Trace

Report: That Shit You Took in the Woods During FOP Is Still Decomposing

THE WOODS — Reports surfaced on Thursday that the shit you took in the woods during your FOP trip over three-and-a-half years ago is still decomposing.

While you moved on with your life—as you went through four Housing Days, one thesis, 32 classes, three summer internships, and eight winter and spring breaks—that pile of shit has just been sitting there under the tree you defecated behind one hot August day.