SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Ivy League

It Really Doesn't Matter Where you Go to College

In the coming weeks, college acceptances will start rolling in for a select group of high-school seniors vying to get into the three dozen or so most-selective colleges and universities in the country. Most seniors planning to go to college this fall already have been accepted somewhere, either because they applied early or they chose less-selective schools that notify applicants almost immediately of their decision.

Don't Send Your Child To The Justice League

By Jor-El Deresiewicz

In the second winter of the year of Xorna, I did a daylong stint on the Justice League admissions committee. We, that is, three admissions staff, a member of the Justice League, and me, the representative from Krypton—were going through submissions from eastern Pennsylvania. The applicants had been assigned a score from one to four, calculated from a string of figures and codes—SATs, GPA, class rank, quality of superhero name, special powers, and diversity.