CAMBRIDGE, MA — In response to growing pressure from the administration to maximize inclusivity, a daring new initiative has been announced in the Faculty of Arts and Sciences to make section “more intersectional."

“At the FAS office, we understand that section is one of the most exclusive institutions on campus,” said FAS Dean Michael D. Smith. “Most sections even have a TF in the classroom who won’t let you stay unless you’re on their ‘list.’ How is that really different from the Spee? I, for one, see no difference.”

CAMBRIDGE, MA ­– Keeping with the university’s commitment to fostering inclusive social environments, the Harvard Department of Mathematics published a full classification of safe spaces today.

“The manifold spaces detailed in this work represent the product of months of tireless study by our devoted faculty,” said Professor Peter Kronheimer, the chair of the department. “The theory of safe spaces is now hitting its prime, and this classification should be an integral resource for those wishing to work with such spaces in the future.”