SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Spectre of Communism Haunts Harvard Economics Department

A spectre is haunting Littauer — the spectre of communism. All the powers of old Harvard have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Faust and Pfister, Mankiw and Johnson, The Harvard Salient and blasé graduate students.

Cambridge, MA- Littauer Hall, home to the Harvard Economics Department, has been the scene of strange happenings. Reports of mysterious events have led some faculty members to speculate that the spectre of Communism, not seen since the Soviet Collapse in 1991, has indeed returned.

Lights flickering on and off and loud noises have been continuous, as well as the department’s bust of Hegel repeatedly being turned on its head.

“Last week I saw a coffee cup flip over all on its own,” said Professor Andrei Shleifer, “As if the historic process which led to the coffees existence simultaneously contributed to the conditions of its demise.”

Graduate students have said that every time Hayek’s name is mentioned, one can hear a blood-curdling scream. In addition to these claims, famed head TF David Johnson’s professorship applications have continually gone missing, though this is no recent development.

Even Famed Ec10 lecturer Greg Mankiw had a first-hand encounter with the alleged ghost.

“It was last June, I had just sat down to work on my latest piece, Defending the One-percent, when I felt a sudden chill—as if, as if some was watching me disapprovingly,” began Mankiw. “I knew it couldn’t possibly be my conscience- my publisher help me kill that off right before we decided how to run my textbook sales.”

                                                                                             

© 2013
Category: