and entering

NASA Launches New Quad Shuttle Program

The new Intergalactic-Quad Express shuttle en route to its destination.

WASHINGTON, DC -- This week, travel to and from the outer rims of the galaxy far, far away in Sector 441, otherwise known as the Radcliffe Quadrangle, might not take so long.

After consulting with the Peter Pan Express, NASA has decided to shave off flight time by skipping the second star to the right and directly going straight on ’til morning. The new flight plan will still launch and land at the same sites on both the planet Earth and the Quad.

“This particular flight plan won’t cost more, money-wise, but it’s something our astronauts will have to adjust to,” said Pforzheimer House resident Keith R. Williams ’16, “They’re used to taking a potty break.”
Although the new flight plan is only in place temporarily, WIlliams hopes that NASA will implement the route permanently. The future of the new shuttle program lies ultimately, however, with Congress. The Senate has expressed a general ambivalence towards the new shuttle program.
Some members, however, seemed more fundamentally confused than others. Asked Senator Adams, “What is the Quad?” Senators Quincy and Lowell simply shrugged their shoulders.

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