and entering

My Will to Live is Sustained Solely by HUDS Cookie Bars

brownie bars
This is it. My solitary reason for existence.

I’m not an unreasonable person.  I even consider myself an optimist.  I try to see the good in every bad situation, the light at the end of the tunnel.  Which is why, at this point, the entirety of my will to live is riding on the existence of HUDS cookie bars.

I have no idea how or why it has come to this, but everything in my life has converged to this point and the only thing keeping me going is those sweet, chocolaty, impossibly dense triangles of pure joy.  I’m running on empty here, and the only thing left in the tank is the possibility of enjoying those delicious little morsels.

It shouldn’t have to be this way.  I have friends and family who I love and cherish, and fulfilling extracurriculars that give me a sense of purpose.  But now is the time when loyalties are tested, and right now, the only thing on my mind is those goddamn cookie bars.

Some people may find joy in HUDS clam chowder, or maybe Sunday morning biscuits.  But not me. The only thing that can fill the soulless void left by a twenty-five page Gov paper, a thesis portion, and two CS exams on the same day is a triangle of cookie dough inexplicably topped with cubes of more cookie dough.

My last remaining thread of sanity may be suspended by cream cheese frosting and chocolate chips, but as long as the cookie bars are there, I have faith it will be secure.  Oh wait, they just replaced them with ranger cookies. Well, shit.

© 2018