CAMBRIDGE, MA-- Over the past few days, the 2016 Lowell Housing Day video filming has turned sour.

“I signed up to be in the video because I thought it would build house spirit,” a tearful Amanda Burnes ‘18 reported. “But the director is horrible. He made us do, like, sixty different takes of me opening the door.”

Director Paul Gerstrand ‘16 was critical of Burnes, saying, “Of course I could tell that she has never had any acting experience before. She seemed very wooden on-camera, so I told her to use the Meisner technique, or maybe Stanislavski's method. But she had no idea who Meisner or Stanislavski were.” He laughed: “I had to fire her, of course.”

When confronted by his Faculty Deans about the incident, Gerstrand justified his decision to let Burnes go. “I am a VES concentrator and, therefore, an artist. Why should I be forced to work with people who do not share my passion for the craft?”

Gerstrand said that he’s been pushing to “revolutionize” Housing Day with a more professional video this year. “I think that Housing Day videos have become very amateur over the past few years,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I heard that Cabot used iMovie for theirs. iMovie. At least use Final Cut Pro. Final Cut Pro X is best, of course, but even AVS Video Editor--version 3.05.22 or higher, preferably--will work in a pinch. Where’s the sophistication--nay, the art--in iMovie?”

At press time, Gerstrand was attempting to contact the Criterion Collection about licensing the film. “No one will remember 'Get Lowell' after I finish my video,” he muttered.