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Inspired By Past 8 Years of GOP Obstruction, Freshman Creates Republican-Only Blocking Group

Dunkirk's blocking group hasn't yet settled on a blocking group name, but they're leaning toward "Where's Tea Party At?"

CAMBRIDGE, MA – As Housing Day approaches, freshmen commonly find themselves struggling to form blocking groups. Not so for Geoffrey Dunkirk ’20, dedicated member of the Harvard College Republicans. In a decision “easier than categorically voting no on a Dem-sponsored bill,” Dunkirk chose to block with seven other like-minded College Republicans on Sunday.

“I think it’s important that, as the Congressmen of tomorrow, we start taking our duty to impede more seriously,” quipped Dunkirk among his seven salmon-clad blockmates, forming an impenetrable ring around the Annenberg grill-order station. "After such a controversial and divisive election, it's especially necessary to look back on and celebrate the Congressional deadlock that we as Republicans can all be proud of."

Dunkirk and his blockmates can typically be found exiting Lamont Library during peak hours without pre-emptively unzipping their bags, creating massive congestion and impeding outbound traffic. Other times, they enjoy jaywalking on green lights, each raising a hand and giving a smug look to disgruntled drivers.

Students have had to adjust to accommodate Dunkirk’s constant obstruction. Said Rahul Sarkar, ’19: “I’ve learned to avoid Hemenway from 6-7 pm on weekdays. You can’t even see the bench presses because of their eight massive bodies crowding the surrounding area.”

Surprisingly, Dunkirk does not plan on actually living with his blockmates, fearing they will tire of each other and become “stalemates."

Image Source: FashionBeans

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