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Harvard University Dining Services to Implement “Foodless Fridays”

HUDS plans to be more negligent with cleaning so that students may enjoy a few specks of food on Fridays.

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Hot on the heels of its successful introduction of “less-meat Mondays,” Harvard University Dining Services announced yesterday that it will no longer serve food on Fridays.

“After realizing that we could easily remove meat, the most expensive component of our meals, we began to explore additional avenues of cost-cutting,” said HUDS spokesperson Crista Martin. “That led us to the idea of Foodless Fridays. By simply not providing food one day a week, we can cut one-seventh of our annual operating costs.”

 Students’ reactions to the news were generally enthusiastic. “Yeah, as long as I can get like six or seven cups of Powerade sometime around noon, I’ll be good,” said Tanner Armstrong ’14, a linebacker on the football team. “That’s all I really need.”

“It’s going to be great to not have to walk all the way to Annenberg once a week,” remarked David Goldstein ’16, a resident of Stoughton. “Wait, are my parents still going to get billed for Friday’s meals?”

 Martin confirmed that the cost of Harvard’s undergraduate meal plan will not change as the result of Foodless Fridays.

 “Harvard’s very reasonably-priced meal plan will still cost the same. But take this into account. Because students will no longer be eating on Fridays, they’ll be able to get way more intoxicated on Friday nights. Isn’t that a privilege worth paying for?”

© 2012