and entering

Harvard Junior on Mission to Selfie with Obama

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Leverett Dining Hall, MA- A sophomore in Leverett last night deduced that the “high-profile dignitary” visiting the Harvard Square area (the visit not being connected with the University) is probably totally Barack Obama visiting the Kennedy School.

“I think I realized it was going to be Barry O. when I read that he was visiting Cambridge between the hours of 4 and 6:30, the same time as the unknown dignitary,” said Julie Martinez, ’16. “I’m totes gonna get me a selfie with him.”

Martinez, who is involved in the IOP, is known for being that girl who takes selfies with every guest speaker, celebrity, or professor who she thinks others might view as “important.”

“ I remember her selfie-ing with Sandel after the last Justice lecture,” said blockmate Cassandra Miles, “she didn’t even take the class.”

Though Martinez’s goals in selfie-ing with the full Harvard faculty have been called into moral question, the empirical results are clear. As of today her February 27th selfie with Norton Lecturer Herbie Hancock has garnered over 170 likes on Facebook. Notably this picture is not even set as her prof pic, making the like total Harvard’s most impressive since Rebecca Anderson’s Tyga hug picture taken last April.

Currently Martinez’s profile picture is set as her November selfie with Felice Crowl Reid Professor of English Phillip Fisher. Though Fisher’s name carries less weight than her Larry Summers or Dean Pfister selfies, Martinez’s tongue sticking out and Fisher’s whimsical look of surprise make the picture, as friend Holly Ubernaccio commented, “soooo cute.”

At time of printing, Martinez was reportedly practicing crying to security guards, cutting people in line, and putting her face uncomfortably close to unprepared strangers.


God Speed Julie.

© 2014