From the email account of General Patraeus

Yeah, you heard me. I can see it in your eyes, Paula. I can tell you just wanna get your hands on my classified documents. Just like any good biographer.

I don’t think you’re ready for these files. I don’t think you want them bad enough. These are some of the biggest, thickest, juiciest classified documents around. So classified they might be a little hard for you to handle when you get down to, um, reading them.