This list is compiled from the crumpled pieces of paper found in Dr. Anthony Fauci’s wastebasket.

How to lower case counts in the US:

- Vaccine for COVID

- Vaccine for anti-vaxxers (Note: Bleach no longer on sale)

- Test less

- Test more, but actually fix the situation

- Call it "covid" instead of "COVID"

- Unlearn to Count   Nevada beat us to it

- 20 to 30 minutes of moderate cardiovascular exercise, 3 times a week

- One apple a day (Note: May impede health care workers)