and entering

God to Release Sequel to New Testament as Series of Concept Albums

God opens the Heavens to sample some tunes.

Paradise—News from the Big Man Upstairs has descended from the heavens as God, Infallible Creator of Earth, the Universe, and—admittedly—jeggings, has announced that He will release his long-anticipated follow-up to the New Testament as a series of three concept albums.

“I really dig what’s going on in the alternative scene right now,” said God. “I’m just trying to cash in before it’s too late.”

God cites Jethro Tull’s Thick as a Brick, Green Day’s American Idiot, and Kendrick Lamar’s Good Kid, m.A.A.d City as influences to His upcoming series. He also “really dig[s] that Dream Theater album from the late 90s” but claims He “can’t remember the name because [He] can’t possibly be expected to remember everything.”

When asked whether Jesus Christ, the protagonist of His earlier work, will return for the sequel, God refused to divulge any details.

“Dude,” said God, “No spoilers.”

However, the Father of Heaven and Earth dropped some hints, claiming that audiences should watch for some “serious tone changes” between albums two and three.

“Some serious shit is going to go down,” God remarked. “Honestly, this might be my best idea since the cronut.”


The Almighty One plans to drop the first album of the series this spring, provided the release date doesn’t clash with that of Kanye West’s next album.



“You just don’t mess with Yeezus,” God proclaimed.

© 2014