SMALLTOWN, USA — Though Americans remain self-isolated in their homes, nothing can stop many young singles from continuing to swipe through dating apps like Tinder with the false hope of scheduling some post-quarantine meet-ups. 22-year-old John Smith is one such eligible bachelor, but his misleading Tinder profile has caused quite a stir in his local community. His bio “I’m funny, interesting, and always down for a good time” garnered him a lot of matches, but shocking recent reports have confirmed that he is in fact “drier than the Sahara Desert.