SatireV

Breaking

and entering

disGUSTing

I Technically Have No Dietary Restrictions, But I Fucking Hate Cilantro

Cilantro
by a Sensitive Boy
 
Every year, I fill out a ton of forms for events like field trips or programs. Usually, there’s no issue, and I quickly answer my name, date of birth, and the other generic questions. My mindset is that I should put down answers on these forms that will maximize my happiness and well-being in the long run. That’s why I honestly don’t see what’s wrong with filling out “I fucking hate cilantro” on every form I receive that lists “Do you have any dietary restrictions?” as a question.

I’m Sick (of You)

By Paul J. Barreira, M.D.

Dear Colleagues, 

As we enter the springtime resolving to do better by our world, our communities, our families, and ourselves, I want to share some thoughts with you about how I’m beyond elated to be done with you miserable, unhygienic fucks.