CAMBRIDGE,MA- This Thursday, the Harvard Radcliffe Dramatic Club announced an exciting, experimental addition to its spring Season: a production of King Lear that takes place entirely inside the dumpster behind Claverly Hall. 

“Lear is a story about the filthy world of politics,” said director Liam Reynolds. “That’s why in our production, we immerse the audience in a space that confronts them with the filth of human greed, murder, and soggy Domino’s boxes.”

WASHINGTON - Earlier today, NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope revealed the first-ever alternate universe in which you experience satisfaction and a healthy sense of self-worth on a fairly regular, day-to-day basis. This alternate universe is located just beyond galaxy GN-z11 and is not only thought to contain several habitable planets with liquid water, but also to be one in which an otherwise indistinguishable version of you goes through their day without periodically contemplating your strained relationship with your family and what you're really working this hard for.