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Why I'm Voting (A B-List Celebrity Told Me to On Instagram)

if one more b-list celeb tells me to register to vote, I swear to god I will un-register

I wasn’t planning to vote. Too much of a hassle, you know? Much easier to sit back, relax, and binge all ten episodes of Netflix’s steaming pile of hot garbage known as Emily in Paris (but it's, like, good hot garbage). A few nights ago, while scrolling on Instagram while hate-watching the show, I came across a post from its very star, Lily Collins.

(What a crazy coincidence that as I’m watching her show her post pops up on my feed. It’s purely a coincidence, though. Netflix would never sell my data to Instagram or anything. That would be so mean.)

What was Lily Collins’s post about, you might ask? I can’t remember. But then, I started following her and a few days later she posted something telling me — and me specifically — to vote for her in the upcoming People’s Choice Awards category of Best Celebrity Child Who Now Acts in a Show That Seems Like It was Written By An Algorithm, and it reminded me of the presidential election, which I then decided to vote in. 

I’m voting for one reason and one reason alone: Lily Collins told me to. I don’t know why anyone else would vote, unless maybe they are Lily Collins and she’s talking to herself in the mirror, which is a totally normal thing for a person to do.

And on my ballot? I wrote in the hot French chef from Emily in Paris

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