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White Actors Sweep Oscars, Overcome History of Opportunity

Despite years of winning Oscars, white actors and actresses managed to finally win more Oscars.
Hollywood, CA - In a groundbreaking victory for white rights activists and other minorities around the nation, 36.6 million viewers watched on Sunday as Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything) and Julianne Moore (Still Alice) received the awards for Best White Actor and Best White Actress, respectively, at the 87th Academy Awards. Patricia Arquette (Boyhood) and JK Simmons (Whiplash) also made film history when they were announced as Best White Supporting Actress and Actor, as well.

“Some people will play the race card,” admitted an anonymous Academy voter. “They’ll say, 'You can’t vote for a film just because it has white people in it!' To which I say, 'I don’t see race. I’m color-blind. I only see white and white.'" 

Christopher Danforth, Jr. '16 insists that we should acknowledge that representation matters. “When you see people of the same race, orientation, and gender as you somehow win an Oscar, despite a lifetime of benefiting from institutional privilege and subconscious racial bias, it really gives you hope,” he said.

At press time, a group of white rights activists gathered outside the venue had dispersed, apparently assuaged by host Neil Patrick Harris's brave and revolutionary statement that this year's Oscars would recognize Hollywood’s “best and whitest.”
Image source: Davidlohr Bueso/Flickr
© 2015