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Small Texas Town Wasn’t Blown Up, Still Would Like Attention

"That there's the town road."

The  town of Roscoe, Texas, announced on Wednesday that, although it did not suffer an enormous fertilizer plant explosion, it still wouldn’t mind a little attention every once in a while.

“I’m not saying we’re a New York City or a Dickinson, but a hello now and then would be nice,” said mayor Brett Calvin, who also serves as the deputy dogcatcher.

Snugly located between Interstate 20 and Highway 84, Roscoe has much to offer the media, despite not being the location of a national tragedy, including a Plowboy grain elevator and a large wind farm, which residents describe as “nearby.”

The nine hundred residents of Roscoe unanimously agreed that more attention would be “just fine by me” and are planning to “maybe have a pie bake-off! Heck, it worked for New Summerfield, right? Jeb, didn’t New Summerfield have a pie bake-off?”

The pie bake-off is planned for August 29th

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