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Republicans Justify Global Warming

The Republican Party has switched tactics in the debate on global warming, shifting from a stance of denial to enthusiastic acceptance. "It's time for icebergs to pay for their outright terrorism against American citizens on that fateful morning of 1912," said a spokesperson yesterday. "One of their kind performed a cowardly act of aggression while submerged in the ocean, sinking the R.M.S. Titanic and ending hundreds of American lives. We are announcing a comprehensive plan to increase greenhouse emissions and melt down every last iceberg."
Said President Bush, "I have a message for you icebergs: we will hunt you down and destroy you. Expect
"'shock and awe' in the form of coal plants and SUVS."
Addressing other world powers, Bush added, "I am calling on the international community to step up carbon emissions at an unprecedented rate. You're either with us or you're against us. As for my fellow Americans, I ask you to perform
your patriotic duty. Turn on your stoves, light a fire, leave your Hummer running. We will not live in fear."
The Titanic shipwreck tragedy which occurred on April 15, 1912 claimed 1,517 lives and fourteen Academy Awards.
© 2008