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Preschool Teacher Blasts Students For Being Too Sensitive: “This is not college!”

“You all need to get a thicker skin.”

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK–Miss Nicole of the Oklahoma Wesleyan Montessori School has come out strong against the politically correct culture prominent in Preschools across the nation.  “Listen up you precocious brats, just because Brian called Samantha a Poopy Head doesn’t mean he’s a misogynist piglet,” Miss Nicole reportedly told her class during snack time early Tuesday morning.  “You all need to get a thicker skin.” 

The class looked at each other wondering if covering themselves with Elmer’s glue would indeed thicken their skin.  Unfortunately, this sparked a debate over why the company had to qualify their product as “white” glue.

 “They cry over everything,” Miss Nicole said in an interview earlier this week. “One of my students literally cried over spilled milk. Back in my day, we rubbed some dirt on our wounds and if someone said something we didn’t like then we took it outside.  Those were the good old days,” said the 24-year old teacher.  She continued, "Oklahoma Wesleyan is not a 'safe place,' but rather, a place to learn: to learn that life isn't about you, but about others; to learn about counting your digits, not hate crimes; it’s about coming together as a class and sitting in a circle: Indian style---sorry, ‘crisscrossed apple sauce.’”

Miss Nicole is not the only one who has made headlines crying out against these crying students.  Following the example of comedian Jerry Seinfeld, who earlier this year refused to perform on any more college campuses due to this excessive PC culture, the Wiggles have canceled their cross-country Spring Fling Extravaganza.  “We basically had to cut ‘Miss Polly Has a Dolly’ from our setlist after students continually called it sexist for assuming a girl was the one with the dolly,” the purple Wiggle reported.  “We just don’t need that kind of stress this far into our careers,” added the blue Wiggle.

Miss Nicole has publicly expressed her concern in an open letter to her students, which unfortunately none of them could read.

At time of press, Miss Nicole was unavailable for further comment due to an arrest for sneaking bourbon into the children’s sippy cups so naptime could move up a few hours.


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