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Palin's Executive Experience

While many pundits have blamed Sarah Palin's lack of experience for John McCain's electoral defeat, locals in her hometown of Wasilla, AK have a differing view.
"Oh, she stands "'bout ten stories tall. Fire in her eyes, arms like tree trunks," reported Jeremiah Gooding, sitting in front of the town's general store. "Yep, I reckon she's a-ready to take on Venezuelan oil prices." 
Residents here are familiar with the Governor's many exploits, from killing moose with her bare hands to repelling a Russian invasion by defeating Vladmir Putin in a drinking contest. As for executive experience, citizens eagerly recall how she settled the town in 1896 by taming an avalanche and riding it through the area to clear out the local Inuit population.
"Problem solved," remarked Janet Mueller. "Mighty fine leadership, I'd say. Mighty fine."
When asked whether Palin could be an inspiration and moral leader to the nation, Republican strategist Karl Rove merely recalled how Palin led her team of steel-drivin' men in a race against the new-fangled steel-drivin' machines back in aught-five.
"When they a-tired out, she just grabbed two hammers in either hand n' kept on a-drivin' steel," said Rove. "Called out, "'I'll be a dirty sonovabitch fore I let no machine lick me.' And I'll be damned if each man, woman, and child in town didn't pull'em selves up and follow "'er."
Although Palin will be spending much more time out of the state now, the citizens of Alaska still see signs of her everywhere: the lakes formed by her boot prints; the Great Alaskan Pipeline built from her iron-tough umbilical cords; the pre-marital sex in high school locker rooms. In this way, Sarah Palin lives on in the waters and skies of Alaska, but mostly in its hearts.
© 2008