and entering

Mark Foley: Serial Facebook Poker

Foley's Facebook Profile

PALO ALTO, CA — According to a report released by Mark Zuckerberg, Mark Foley (R-Florida) has poked an extraordinary 40,000 underage males on Facebook.

“First I thought Mini-feed announcing
when I shat was scary. Then I got poked by Mark Foley,” said Tom Baker, a 17-year-old Facebook user. “What’s next? Facebook telling me I just got fingered by Mark Foley?”

In light of these events, several new groups have been created; prominent among them: “The Official Group with the Official Petition to Officially Kick Mark Foley off Facebook. Officially,” which boasts 700,000 members, 30 of whom know who Mark Foley is, and “If Five People Join this Group, Mark Foley Will Molest Darfur.”

“I’m a little freaked out,” said Eric Michaels, a member of the group and a Foley victim. I mean I guess I should’ve seen it coming when I got a message saying ‘You’re hottt. Get back 2 me with penis size. Xoxo, MAF.’ But I figured it was standard policy for hiring Capitol Hill interns. But a poke? Where the fuck is he poking

There is no word yet on any plans for Foley to leave Facebook, but sightings
of Foley taking pictures of himself
at odd angles with a digital camera seem to indicate an imminent shift to MySpace.

© 2007