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Kim Kardashian Breaks the Internet

After pressing all of the keys on the keyboard without fixing the computer, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian were forced to admit defeat.

A SatireV exclusive investigation revealed that Kim Kardashian broke the Internet last week when she attempted to log onto her Gmail account and found that no webpages were loading.

“Honey! The Internet isn’t working!” she shouted up the stairs, according to sources.


“The Internet! It’s not working!”

“Huh! Try turning the computer off and on again!” replied her husband, Kanye West, an aspiring musician.

After pressing the power button rapidly and repeatedly, however, Kardashian still found that the Internet was not working; furthermore, the problem of the broken Internet was now compounded by the fact that her cursor had spontaneously turned into a spinning beach ball. Even after she held down the power button for ten seconds at a time, the issue persisted.

“Hon’? I think there might be something wrong with it!”

“Maybe try unplugging it for a couple of minutes, or calling the Apple store?” suggested West.

“What’s an Apple?” asked Kardashian as she unplugged the computer. After returning to her seat, she found that now the problem had gotten even worse, for the machine would no longer turn on at all.

“You know what? Maybe we should just watch TV instead,” said West, turning on the television to E! and finding that the cable was broken. Upon calling the cable company, West was informed that a technician would come by the house the following day between 8 a.m. and 11 p.m., or maybe not at all.

As of press time, the family was staring at a blank wall. 

© 2014