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Body of Jimmy Hoffa found in Cemetery

Federal Investigators searched the cemetery after their previous strategy of digging up random backyards proved fruitless.

Detroit, MI—nearly 40 years after Teamsters’ Union leader Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, Federal investigators have discovered his body buried in a Detroit-area cemetery. Hoffa, who is believed to have been killed in 1975 over a dispute with the mafia about the Teamsters’ Union’s pension fund, was found beneath a granite headstone marked “James Riddle Hoffa”. Investigators are currently investigating the significance of the name for clues on who might have hidden the body in the cemetery, hoping that it will lead them to Hoffa’s killer.

James P. Hoffa, the current president of the Teamsters’ Union, was reportedly on the scene shortly after the discovery. “What are you people doing?” the man screamed, “Why are you digging up dad’s coffin?”

Hoffa, speaking to reporters shortly before being arrested for obstruction of justice as investigators attempted to break open the coffin, said that he had been “too busy running the Teamsters’ Union after dad died of a heart attack in 1975” to pay any attention to the ongoing search for Jimmy Hoffa’s body. “If anybody had just ASKED me where he was, for Christ’s sake, we could have been done with all of this crap thirty eight years ago,” the man said, visibly frustrated.

As of press time, investigators were still trying to determine if a link existed between James Hoffa and the mafia’s murder of Jimmy Hoffa.

© 2012