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Argentina Boasts 8th Greatest Total Land Area in World

Argentinians Reveling in the Sheer Landmass of their Country

Argentina still boasts the world’s 8th greatest total land area, with 1,073,518 square miles to Germany’s 137,847.

“That’s nearly eight times as much land!” shouted native Argentinian Sam Vasquez over a deafening chorus of the German national anthem. “Almost makes you feel sorry for Germany.”

Germany, which has not budged from its ranking of 63rd on the list of countries with the greatest land area, has very little hope of improving its ranking in the foreseeable future, let alone rivaling Argentina in land area.

Said Vasquez of the country’s 8th-place ranking, “The great thing about it is that it’s never going to change.” He paused to wipe away some tear-smudged face paint. “Germany can’t take our land away from us.”

Historically, Germans have in fact established large immigrant colonies on Argentinian soil. When reminded of this, Vasquez terminated the interview.

When asked for their thoughts on Germany’s comparably laughable ranking of 63 in total land area, a group of German fans responded by cheering and dancing in the streets all night.

© 2014