and entering

Area Comrade Tired of Accidentally Searching “Google Maos” instead of Google Maps

For Wilkinson, Marxism is everywhere!

MONROVIA, CA- After erroneously searching “google maos” in the Chrome search bar for the fifth time this week, John Wilkinson, a 31 year-old Uber call center representative, threw his hands up in despair, scoffing “As if I would look to Mao for an example of a proletariat uprising.”

 “Armed revolution of the peasantry, what idiot thought that would work out?” Wilkinson elaborated, sipping out of an Intelligentsia coffee mug.

“What’s even the point of the autocorrect features if it can’t recognize the difference between an agricultural proletariat and the absolute genius of the vanguard party?” he added, with a resigned sigh. 

Wilkinson’s colleagues said they are familiar with the resident comrade’s revolutionary tendencies.

Wendy Bates, Wilkinson’s cubicle mate, reported that Wilkinson is infamous for his Marxist speeches, which he invariably ends with his signature line: “Carpe Diem? More like Carpe those means of production!”

Due to the sheer depravity that is autocorrect, even when Wilkinson spells “maps” correctly, it routinely changes back to “maos.” Consequently, Wilkinson estimated that he searches “google maos” at least 20 times a day, despite the bookmark for Google maps on his homepage. In the coming weeks, he expects the number to rise steadily, just like the revolutionary will of the people.

He commented: “I’m worried that when my girlfriend goes through my browser history, she’ll think I’m a closet Maoist. We lean Lenin, but on special nights we’ll swing Trotsky. Oh boy, you’ve never seen a scorched earth THIS hot!”

At press time, Wilkinson was observed googling the term “bougie,” and violently dry heaving while scrolling through the Urban Dictionary entry.

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