At a recent sustainability talk given to Harvard students, Al Gore stressed the deleterious effect of hot babes on global warming. Said the former VP, "Bodacious babes emanate the same greenhouse gases that ultimately contribute to global warming, and drastic measures need to be initiated at all costs to ensure that these blazing hotties keep their clothes on at all times."

But Gore has faced stiff opposition from strippers. "How am I supposed to support my family of ten when I'm dancing around in a cardboard box and wearing a paper bag over my head? How am I supposed to earn tips when the only thing getting hard is my job?" queried one indignant stripper who went by the stage name Penis de Milo.

Prostitutes are also getting the hard end of the stick. "No one wants to cockhammer a black, plastic garbage bag. Guys want something raw and savage, something displaying lots of skin and a vagina, not an amorphous sack." It is clear that global warming will come at a high cost.