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Area Man Only Meant to Shut Eyes for Few Minutes, Wakes to Alien Overlords

They seem friendly.
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY – After planning to take a quick, thirty-minute power nap, area man Daniel R. Foster awoke from a deep, coma-like slumber 23 years later than he had intended.
 
The nap was only meant to help him “catch up on a few Zs,” but after sinking into the dissociative bliss of death-like sleep, Foster succumbed to his profound, bodily exhaustion and woke up in the year 2041. Sound asleep for two decades, Foster dozed through the fall of earth and the rise of its current imperial overlords, the Oglaroonians of the Omicron Deluvia Star System.  
 
Still disoriented from being ripped from the dark abyss of Stage 4 sleep, Foster recalled “the soul crushing burden of human life” lifting from his frail, mortal body as he slid into the euphoria of non-existence. Before the First and Second Intergalactic Battles for Earth razed the planet, leaving the entire western hemisphere an uninhabitable nuclear desert, Foster reportedly slept an average of eight hours per night, what most pre-Oglaroonian medical professionals would describe as “a healthy amount.” 
 
After fully regaining consciousness, Foster—presumably out of habit—checked his phone, still unaware that Earth’s communication infrastructure had been blasted to dust by Oglaroonian battleships fifteen years prior.
 
At press time, Foster was asking some nearby aliens where he could get a burger and was dismayed to learn that humanoids only eat plantains in the next world.
© 2018
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