By Dean Rakesh Khurana

 

In a recent Crimson op-ed, I was likened to the Premier of the communist Soviet Union. Such an accusation cannot stand, and I wholeheartedly condemn this comparison. That is because the author fails to realize state communism is antithetical to the collectivist vision. Only anarchy can truly return economic and political power to the working class.

 

In the op-ed I am accused of creating Soviet-style spy rings in order to determine which students are members of final clubs. However, I would never advocate for investing so much police power in the state. Although private property is equivalent to theft, there is such a thing as private life. And if we cannot trust the corrupt nation-state to evenly distribute material resources, we cannot trust it not to violate this private sphere.

 

I believe the real issue here is the unequal distribution of resources, namely of alcohol. If the author of this op-ed wants more alcohol for freshmen on campus, I can assure him that under anarcho-communism the all students will be guaranteed all the alcohol they need. There will be no state to impose an excise tax, nor any police to brutally enforce unjust drinking age laws. No: under anarchy all are equal in their common ownership of the means of production and the fruits of their own labor, fermented or otherwise.

 

I could go on about the many ideological obfuscations in this op-ed, but I will conclude by saying this: if ever again I am accused of being a state communist in this capitalist rag of a campus newspaper, I will smash this publication like I did the state itself.

 

No gods, no masters, no final clubs!

 

In Anarcho-Solidarity,

Dean Khurana