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Point-Counterpoint: Maybe I Don't Need the Internet

Point: Maybe I Don't Need the Internet
By Bryan Haut'08

I recently moved into a new apartment and forgot, for about a month and a half, to sign up for internet access. I finally got around to calling the company, but it will still be a few weeks before I can log on at home. But I realized something
during the past few weeks: maybe we don't actually need to be so wired. It used to be that when I got home, I would sit glued to my computer screen, watching YouTube, checking my email, playing silly flash games. I never actually did anything.

Nowadays when I get home I clean the house. I do dishes. I read books. Do you know I have read five novels this week? These books don't have any pictures or flash videos, but they are still very interesting. And sure, I don't get to read the news instantly, but it is nice to sit down with a newspaper once a day and read my news that way. What I am saying is, without the internet I managed to have a fulfilling life. I have hobbies and a nice home. I am happy without the internet. Maybe I don't even need it.

Counterpoint: GIVE ME THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW
By Bryan Haut "'08

Holy shit. What's going on? Where is everyone? Why isn't my AIM buddy list loading? How am I going to talk to people? I am all alone in here. Fuck Catch-22, I have already read it twice this week. Maybe I can buy some new books off Amazon. Fuck. Amazon won't load either. Fuck this, I need the internet right now!

Did Miley Cyrus have a baby? Are there pictures where I can see her nipples? What about Paris Hilton? How many nipples?

I just thought about cheese. How many kinds of cheese are there? Chedder, meunster, swiss, parmesan" I dunno? Someone Wikipedia that for me and let me know. Make sure you call to tell me though, I can't check my email.

Fuck. Who played Joanie on "Joanie Loves Chachi?" Is Scott Baio still working? For the love of god, why isn't IMDB loading?

Is it so fucking much to ask just to watch some goddamn porn?
© 2008
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