SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Oh Baby, CONTROL Me!

Me, all locked up for just for you, federal government ;)
Every year, guns like me are responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of Americans. Month after month we are greeted with the news of new massacres committed by guns like myself. For this reason, I am in favor of gun control.
 
I also derive deep, DEEP sexual gratification from the idea of being controlled.
 
I’ve always wanted to be controlled by a big, strong government that could constrict me and keep me away from convicted felons and the mentally ill. Ever since I was young, I dreamed of a government endowed with tremendous, harsh regulations capable of tying me up and keeping me locked down.
 
Oh man, it just makes me so hot in my chamber. I’m gonna shoot…!
 
Anyway, what I mean to say is, you can check my background any time, federal government ;)
 
Sincerely,
A Gun
 
© 2016
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