By Genzelc Bio CEO, Richard Hawkins
How are you doing today, my sweet, sweet privately-insured sacks of pre-existing conditions? As I’m sure you know, I’m Richard Hawkins, M.B.A and CEO of Genzelc Therapeutics. But, what you may not know is this: I’m not like the other pharmaceutical execs. I’m casual, I’m hip, I’m overly prescriptive. And above all, I’m a real nice guy.
Some say, in this biz, that kindness is a liability, but I prefer to think of it more as an asset to treat just enough to keep around. It means that I’m not going to be one of those evil big pharma guys, charging you a fortune over your lifetime of chronic illness for my drug. No, no. Instead, I’m practically giving away my miracle cure for a reasonable price patients will pay just once upfront.*
Just one payment of $10 million dollars, and, boom, those suffering from chronic γ-hyperkonia will be forever cured, for life...we’re pretty sure. I mean, babe, compare that to the standard of care, and — can you imagine paying $10 million over 20 to 30 years of treatments? Ugh, the hassle! Here at Genzelc, we’re not assholes. I’m, as we say, a nice guy. Instead of fleecing patients for all these work-hours of doctors and nurses at the bedside, endless volumes of donated infusions, etc, etc, etc., we’re giving the patient that exact same value, to the dime, in just one vial of CRISPR/Cas9; bam, boom, end of story.
Honestly, I’ve been told the price tag is generous. Is it generous? Yes, but you tell me. Wall Street folks, they told me I should be pricing this at $15 million. “Only $10 million?” I heard, “Might as well be selling it at cost!” Ha! Of course, I rejected the idea — patients come first, period. As I've always said, I wear a heart of gold on my sleeve and no tricks underneath.
If you're still concerned about the price, I mean, listen: we’re giving patients 20 to 30 years of quality life that they would be spending getting transfusions and lying in a hospital bed, and now they can be free of their disease for like...well, at least 2 years given our clinical data, but probably for life. Can you even begin to tell me the value in that? I’ll answer: it’s priceless. No ceiling. About 10 million dollars.
Anyways babe, I have to go. The powder at the ol’ Brecki-ridge waits for no one. If you want to “hit me up” about any of my stellar motives and/or unrelenting commitment to our patients and stakeholders, just “slide into my dm’s,” ahahah, on our website’s investor relations page (though, let's not go all Smythe-and-Shkreli here). I think in my absence you’ll be put very much at ease by our laid-back ethos, our sick art backsplashes, and especially by our lack of capitalization. At the end of the day we’re just a scrappy bunch of a couple thousand folks who want to make the world a better place. Alright, ahahahah. Thanks. Catch ya on the flip side!
-Rich
*With the possible but limited backing of health insurance networks, to be determined on a patient-by-patient basis.
