Dear Harvard College Students,

 

We write today concerning the Harvard College Honor Code, which, if you ask us, is a pretty fucking great document. One of the goals in instituting the Honor Code was to raise community awareness about how the Honor Council is covering your lazy asses and to stimulate conversations about how impressive a job we did considering how little support we get from you spoiled jagoffs. As part of this effort, the Honor Council would like to provide you with a copy of our 2015-16 Annual Report at honorcouncil.fas.harvard.edu/deeznutz. But of course, you're not going to read that, so let us break it down for you: 100% of Harvard undergraduates are lazy fuckos and 100% are whiny shitheads.

 

This annual report provides information about the Honor Council's actions last year. Like, for instance, how we put this whole goddamned code together by ourselves, covering your asses and the university's, out of the goodness of our hearts. Members of the Honor Council very much want to engage with you in a series of conversations about how much work we put into this thing, its draining effect on our personal relationships, and the details of how you can all go to Hell.

 

To that end, members of the Honor Council are holding a town-hall meeting tonight, Thursday, October 20 from 9:30 PM to 1 AM at the Plough and the Stars in Central Square, because we could use a drink or eight after having to pull this out of our asses. Members of the community are encouraged to attend, though we warn you that Sean and Donovan don't take kindly to "feckin' Ivy League shitehawks" showing up uninvited.

 

We look forward to having you join us in Hell, you lazy bastards. If you have any questions, ask yourselves why you can't be a little more supportive.

 

Worst regards,

 

2015-2016 Members of the Harvard College Honor Council