SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Top HUPD Recommendations to Improve Safety

  1. Try to bribe would-be muggers. Flash some serious cash.
  2. Carry a mace. Not like a canister, like an iron ball with spikes.
  3. Commit a felony. Get a police escort to the quad.*
  4. Carry a concealed weapon. Fire at movement.
  5. Stay on the lighted path. Once immersed in dim light, muggers lose element of surprise. Note: they still have the element of deadly weapons.
  6. Don't get quaded.
* and by quad, we mean jail
© 2008
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