SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Jeremy Lin’s Donation Creates Linsanity Professorship of Romance Languages and Literatures

Jeremy Lin initiates the famed "Fast Brecht" play that has made the Brooklyn Nets the darlings of the comparative literature world.

CAMBRIDGE, MA—NBA star Jeremy Lin '10 has announced that his million-dollar donation to Harvard last week will help renovate Lavietes Pavilion, improve financial aid, and create the Linsanity Professorship of Romance Languages and Literatures.

 

"Freshman fall I accidentally registered for a comp lit class instead of a comp lift--competitive lifting--class, but it turned out to be a gem," Lin explained to reporters. "So now, as any of the Nets can tell you, I've given our plays names like 'Victor Hugo right and I go left,' 'Don Low,' 'Crash the Quixote', and 'Moliere and Roll'." 

 

Professor Luis Manuel Girón-Negrón, the recipient of the Linsanity professorship, has already announced that he will make several changes to the grading methods for Comp Lit 114 this spring. Students' papers will be crumpled into a ball and shot from various spots on the court, with any paper going in from both the foul line and beyond the arc guaranteed at least a B. Papers used for game-winning shots when playing HORSE against Samuel Hazzard Cross Professor of Slavic Languages and Literatures Julie A. Buckler will automatically receive an A+. The syllabus will also now contain the classic French novella The Linsane Prince.

 

Additionally, any student finishing the class with more than 100 points total will be given a free Chalupa sent via Canvas Messages.

 

Image credit: Al Bello/Getty Images

© 2016
Category: