CAMBRIDGE, MA — After lining up a post-graduation job at renowned management consulting firm McKinsey & Company, Harvard senior Rakash Bagari '18 recently had the world-shattering realization that consulting is just advanced Googling.
The revelation came to Bagari when he tried explaining to his family what exactly a career in management consulting would entail. While recounting the countless hours he spent researching synergistic and cost effective management solutions, he wondered, “Couldn’t anyone have just, like, typed that into Google?”
As a freshman, Bagari had been wooed by the Harvard College Consulting Group with a custom embroidered Patagonia fleece and a free ticket to a Celtics game. “I spent so much time compiling reports and making presentations for clients,” Bagari said, recalling all the times he just copied and pasted a cool-looking graph from Google Images into a PowerPoint.
Begari, whose LinkedIn profile includes “Qualitative Skills” and “Proficiency in Microsoft Office Suite,” struggled to come to terms with the fact that any literate, sentient being with a computer and internet access could replace him.
In light of the revelation, the Harvard senior explained he would need time to “reevaluate” and discover his “purpose in this world.” Begari expressed interest in revisiting his “long-forgotten passion” for watercolor painting and maybe trying yoga to “open [his] chakras or something."
At press time, sources reported the soul-crushing burden of Bagari’s epiphany had disappeared immediately after he was informed of his signing bonus.
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