Following Freeze Magazine's Mr. Harvard Freshman contest, the publication set out to find Mr. Harvard Douche, the Harvard undergrad who best exemplified the traits consistent with douchebaggery. The magazine staff conducted painstakingly long one-on-one interviews with all of the candidates, who were considered to be douches for various reasons, including disinterest in hooking up with members of Freeze's staff.

Freeze Magazine Associate Editor Alicia Allwood shed some light on the process. "Undeveloped people skills were definitely a plus," she said. "It was also assumed that any guy who resisted our advances was pretty much a douche."

Harvard President Drew G. Faust commented, "At Harvard there is a very diverse range of douchebaggery, from all racial and socioeconomic backgrounds. This is really a testament to our outstanding Admissions Office and commitment to financial aid."

Harvard douchebags were essentially divided into five categories: study freaks, athletes, grade-grubbers, elitists, and assholes in section who won't shut up despite not having done the reading. Here are some excerpts from the Freeze interviews:

"Will this title help or hurt my future presidential run?"

"In case
you weren't aware, we're standing in Sever Hall, as in my grandfather, Robert fucking Sever, that's who."

"I don't know, man, I guess I just interpreted the book differently."

Upon dividing the student body in this particular manner, however, Freeze editors realized that they had over 3,000 viable contenders for the title of Mr. Harvard Douche. After several grueling hours of attempting to narrow down the list, the staff decided to just call it a tie and went back to investigating whether they are an online magazine or a print magazine or some weird combination of both.