The Crimson Key Society's annual spring comp is underway! With hundreds of compers and only an 11.5% acceptance rate, it can be tricky to know which exquisite, mirror-like visage will make it into Harvard's premiere "service" organization.
Says Kelly T. Thompson '19, the president of Crimson Key: "We don't just want to put anyone—especially not unsymmetrical people—in front of tourists. How embarrassing would that be?"
Satire V sat down with a bottle of Merlot and the Facebook profiles of this year’s compers to predict whose bone structures will make the cut. Without further ado, here are five symmetrical faces that will DEFINITELY get into Crimson Key:
1) Danielle, Class of 2021
WOW, TALK ABOUT ~SYMMETRY~!!!! Bet this face will be covered in Stat 110!
2) Kennedy, Class of 2021
If you folded up this face hot-dog style, the features would surely match. GROOVY!!!!
3) Mark, Class of 2020
ZOINKS! This countenance gives one helluva tour, which Crimson Key cares about almost as much as symmetry.
4) Jamison, Class of 2021
KAPOW! This face has two halves that perfectly align. CRAZY!
5)
WOAH! This symmetrical face went to boarding school in New York.
© 2018
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