CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Between 12:31p.m and 12:42p.m. today, Facebook briefly went offline for maintenance, forcing thousands of Harvard students to actually listen to their professors. There was general disarray as confused students panicked, several of them realizing that they had actually been attending the wrong class the entire semester. Scattered reports indicate that several professors of mathematics suffered mental breakdowns at the social pressure.

Freshman J. Edward Copperthwait IV recounted the tohobohu of his Ec 10 lecture. "After
Facebook went offline I looked up from my computer and had no idea who was lecturing. I figured I was in the wrong, since I took Ec 10 Professor Mankiw." About 300 confused students walked out of crowded Sanders Theater, despite the objections of Professor Susan Athey.

In lieu of Facebook, students found a number of other ways to survive through lectures, including texting behind their computers and playing Defend Your Castle. Sporcle crashed due to the sudden spike in traffic. Thankfully, order was soon restored, and relieved students returned to creeping their exes and untagging awkward photos from last night.