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Dean Dingman Elected to Cambridge City Council

"Yo baby, wanna see my March Hare?"

In an unexpected turn of events, write-in candidate and self-described “Dean of Fresh” Thomas Dingman claimed a decisive victory in the race for the open seat on the Cambridge City Council Tuesday.

 A good part of the dean’s inspiration to enter the race came when prominent candidate Logan Leslie ‘16 began distributing bottle openers and voter registration forms to campus residents in hopes of adding a Harvard voice to the council.

 “That got me thinking,” Dingman commented during his acceptance speech. “This Logan seemed like a fine kid, but I needed to remind my Harvard crew I’ve always had their recreational interests at heart.”

 In response, the dean handed out packets of rolling paper to the university’s houses and dorms labeled “For Tobacco Use Only. Vote Tommy D!”

 In addition to over 90% of the registered Harvard student body, Dingman garnered a significant majority of the votes of other Cambridge residents, drawn in by his promise to set aside a portion of Mass Ave near City Hall each Sunday to install a “sick half-pipe” which he and other local skateboarding and BMX enthusiasts could use to train for the X Games.

 To conclude his speech, Dingman assured his fellow Cantabrigians that his fabled parties, or “TD Throw-Downs,” which the administrator has hosted almost weekly in the Freshman Dean’s Office at 6 Prescott Street, will be unaffected by the additional duties he is to assume as a member of the council. He even added that his newfound clout with the city could help to alleviate the “pesky Cambridge PD presence” known to monitor the FDO’s noise level.

At press time, the councilman-elect was finishing work on a proposed city ordinance mandating Felipe’s to operate 24/7.

© 2013