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Cabot UC Election Ends in 380-Way Tie,406

CAMBRIDGE, MA—According to reports from Al Jazeera Quad, Cabot House’s recent UC election has ended in a 380-way tie. As of Monday morning, the UC Commission had yet to decide a method for resolving the unprecedented result, in which all 380 residents of Cabot House received the same number of votes—zero. The UC’s bylaws and constitution make no provisions for such a result, according to UC legal scholar Michael Wasserman ’14.

            The outcome was surprising, given that Cabot had four candidates on the ballot. However, election results indicate, none of the candidates took the time to vote for themselves.

            “Wait, did the election already happen? Shit. It was last week?” responded candidate Sunny Wong ’15 when asked about the results.

            At the time of printing, UC President Tara Raghuveer ’14 was performing Kabbalic numerology on the name of every resident of Cabot to determine which ones were most similar to the word “relevance.”

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