CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Next week, faculty and students in the VES department are planning on holding a week-long marathon of the 2001 feature film Shrek, citing the film’s high quality and superiority over every other film of every genre ever made. The move comes as a delightful surprise to those who have seen the movie once before, and especially to those who have already seen it ten times.
“We realized there was no reason to study film anymore, as the perfect one has already been created,” said VES Director of Undergraduate Studies Ruth Lingford, organizer of the event. “One can study the cinema for a long time, as I have, and never see a film that even begins to approach the quality of Shrek,” she confirmed. “We thought it was time to let our students, and the whole undergraduate body, come to that conclusion for themselves.”
VES concentrator Hugo Marco ‘18 plans on watching the entire program. “I used to watch a wide variety of films and think critically about their composition and style. Great films, like Wong Kar Wai's In the Mood for Love, or like Nosferatu or some shit. All this time, I have been searching for the perfect movie. But what I never realized was that the perfect film had already been created, and it’s green and has little tube-ears.”
Since this discovery, major changes are said to be in store for the VES department and concentration requirements. One insider source names such course titles as “VES S23: Conceptual Figure (in Shrek),” “VES S24: Painting Shrek, Smoking Shrek, Eating Shrek," and “VES S176: Swamp Border Cinema”.
It remains unknown whether those in the VES department have yet been made aware of Shrek 2.
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