We've heard them all! Satire V has compiled a list of all the typical phrases that Jesus Christ constantly uses in section:
Can we unpack that? Because even I, Son of God Jesus Christ, did not understand what you were saying.
Don't you just hate when you've just made a point, and Jesus Christ wants you to "unpack" it? What does "unpack" even mean? We all know you're trying to mask your confusion. Sorry, Jesus, but your lack of omnipotence is showing.
As the Lamb of God, I'm gonna have to push back on that point you just made about lambs.
This is section lingo for "I am your God and how dare you make an incorrect statement, especially about lambs." When Jesus says this, He essentially thinks you're a dumbass but wants to mask his aggression about your lamb comment in academic terms.
I want to echo my own point, because I am the Son of Man and no one else really has anything interesting to say.
Typical Jesus. Someone else just made an interesting point about the readings, and Jesus wants to take all the credit by "echoing" that point. Why do you even care about your participation grade, Jesus? You're the Son of Man! Ugh!
If anyone decides to play "devil's advocate," I will cast them into eternal hellfire.
I'm sorry that you don't like it when people disagree with you, Jesus Christ, but you have to admit that even you can be wrong. Just because I'm providing a robust counterargument doesn't mean I should be damned forever! *Rolls eyes*
This passage reminds me of the New Testament, a book that is all about me.
Now you're just being a show off, Jesus. We get it: you're smart, you're well read, and you're the subject of the greatest-selling book of all time. Stick to the assigned readings, okay?
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