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Breaking

and entering

Mormon Underwear Undergoes Revamp

Glenn Beck's sexy pushup (38C).

In place of the modest two-piece, the Church of Latter-Day Saints now offers a wide array of red, hot-pink, and leather thongs, ass-less chaps, and more. The Mormon community is buzzing about this exciting change.

“I can’t wait to throw on a Jeee-sus string,” said grinning former-presidential candidate Mitt Romney. “It will only be More-man on display,” he chuckled, “But really, it turns me on.”

Even Glenn Beck showed some excitement at the news.

“It’s just so liberating,” he said, sporting a fluffy pink brassiere. “I’ve never felt so giddy.”

The Mormon’s decision has not been popular with everyone, however.

“This is an outrage,” said a Las Vegas street hooker. “Now when I stand on the street corner, everyone thinks I’m Mormon. How am I supposed to earn a living when no man would bother propositioning a Mormon for sex?

In unrelated Mormon news, church attendance has tripled and a record number have converted. It looks like Mormonism is hot right now.

 

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