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Barron Trump, White House Butler Thwart Portrait Thief

Yarmouth was keen to make sure Barron would not miss his bedtime despite the unexpected adventure.

WASHINGTON – Barron Trump, the youngest son of President Donald Trump, and White House butler Reginald Yarmouth teamed up yesterday to thwart a would-be portrait thief.

According to a source familiar with the event, the pair was ambling around the East Wing when they spotted a suspicious character.

“Hey Reginald, does anything about that man over there seem strange to you?” asked the young Trump.

“Why, yes, Master Barron. Now that you mention it, something does seem…off,” replied Yarmouth before ushering Barron around a corner, pulling a handheld mirror out of his pocket, and using the mirror to peer around the corner.

“My word—a thief in the White House! I think he’s trying to steal that portrait of Eleanor Roosevelt!” whispered Yarmouth to Barron.

“Oh no! Reginald, what should we do?” asked the frightened boy.

Yarmouth knew they had to act, and act fast. He quickly placed the serving tray he was holding onto the nearest table, unbuttoned his jacket, and smoothed back his hair.

“You mean what will we do, Master Barron,” replied Yarmouth in a decisive tone. “I have an idea! We need to distract the burglar. Do you have any articles on your person?”

“Uh, just this bouncy ball,” said the child as he pulled a red rubber ball out of his pocket. “Father says I should not play with silly toys but—”

“Master Barron, that is simply marvelous!” said a beaming Yarmouth. “Bounce this down the hallway. You pretend to be chasing after the ball, and I’ll come round the other way. Does that sound good, my boy?”

Barron agreed, bounced the ball, and began running down the dark corridor. Upon hearing footsteps, the aspiring art thief stopped in his tracks. But he was relieved to see it was only the Trump boy emerging from the shadows.

“Hey there kiddo! Just taking this portrait down for restoration,” said the thief with a forced smile. He noticed the ball that came to rest at his feet. “Does this belong to you?”

“We mustn’t take things that don’t belong to us!” shouted Yarmouth, who had come around the other side of the hallway, as he tossed a large fishing net over the thief. The thief writhed around on the floor, and the duo high-fived in celebration of their successful plan.

As the Secret Service took the burglar into custody, Yarmouth noticed the red ball on the floor and picked it up. “Master Barron,” said Yarmouth as he tossed the ball to the young Trump. “Nice catch!”

The two shared a laugh over this clever pun, and Yarmouth gently tousled Barron’s hair before walking back toward the residence to put the child to bed. The littlest Trump dreamed of the mischief he and his beloved butler would make tomorrow.


© 2017