and entering

Annual Neil Convention Features Panels, Neils

Convention chair Neil deGrasse Tyson speaks to a captive audience of Neils.
INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The 35th Annual Convention of Neils was held in Indianapolis's Indiana Convention Center this weekend and featured wide-ranging discussions about topics ranging from politics to musical theater and astrophysics. 
Approximately 11,500 Neils showed up for the convention, including several expert panels of famous people namedNeil.
"It was an honor to serve as chair of this year's convention," said celebrated astrophysicist and Director of the Hayden Planetarium Neil deGrasse Tyson. "Although the present moment is only a small speck on the vast beach of time, I honestly had a lot of fun. Some great Neils showed up."
Neil Hendersen, a Cincinnati native, attends the convention every year and was particularly impressed by this year's lineup. "I've never seen such an intense discussion as the one between Neil Young and Neil Diamond on the 'Defining Folk Music' roundtable. It was riveting," said Hendersen.
Television, film, and Broadway star Neil Patrick Harris-- chair of the 31st Neil Convention in Dallas, Texas-- surprised the Neils in attendance on the convention's second day with an impromptu one-man show in the middle of the crowded floor.
"It was legen- wait for it," said Chicagoan Neil Flenderson, pausing dramatically. "-Dary! It was legendary! Just like the show. Ha ha. He's such a great Neil."
The most anticipated event of the weekend, the 'Neil vs. Neel' spelling debate on the main stage, drew the convention's biggest audience. Author Neil Gaiman advocated for the traditional "Neil," whereas President of the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis Neel Kashkari argued for further consideration of "Neel" for the sake of inclusion. 
"They said they would pay me and give me a plaque if I came," said Kashkari. "Do you have my money?"
For the tenth straight year, actor Sam Neill was escorted out of the convention by security. As guards grabbed the resisting Neill, the actor protested, "What, only first name Neils are allowed? How is that fair? Tell me how that's fair!"
The 36th Annual Convention of Neils will be held in Ontario, Canada, sometime next year, with prog rock legend Neil Peart scheduled to chair. Surely many Neils will attend.
© 2016