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US Soldier Looking Forward to Being Sent to Wherever Saudi Arabia Intervenes Next

Gregory Thompson, who is just thrilled to be deployed at the whim of the President
FORT BRAGG, NC – Gregory Thompson of the 82nd Airborne Division is looking forward to being sent to wherever Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed Bin Salman decides to intervene next.
 
Saudi Arabia, which is fighting against the Houthi rebels in Yemen with US military aid, recently accused both Lebanon and Iran of declaring war on it. American officials are eager to defend the cause of liberty by sending any number of drones, weapons, and boots on the ground to help one of the world's only remaining absolute monarchies.
 
"I'm used to being shipped off to war based on dubious foreign policy decisions that are out of my control," said Thompson about the possibility of deployment. "But the fact that my life could end because of the whims of an ancient hereditary monarch and a Crown Prince hell-bent on consolidating power– now that's what I call the cherry on top of the cake!"
 
When reached for comment, the Pentagon declared its intentions to blindly follow Saudi Arabia into whatever Middle-East quagmire the kingdom can conjure up next. "Yemen? You bet. Lebanon? Sure thing. Iran? Well, a woman can dream!" said Pentagon Press Secretary Amber Smith.
 
President Trump himself expressed unambiguous support for the Saudis at a press conference. "Our foreign policy must put America first," said Trump. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm getting a phone call from MBS and he does not like requesting more drone strikes via voicemail," he added before dashing off.
 
As of press time, Thompson was scrolling through the President's Twitter feed to see what other senseless proxy wars are in his future.
 
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