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Flat Earth Society Unable to Refute Theory that Earth Is Actually One of God’s Balls

Bit lumpy, no?

MOREHEAD, NC — The Flat Earth Society came under fire on Tuesday when it could not disprove that the earth is actually one of God's balls.

A new theory about the divine origin of earth's roundness was published in the April edition of Planets: Educational Network for Interspace Systems. Asked for comment, Anita Thompson, the head of the Flat Earth Society’s PR team, stated, “The Flat Earth Society has long suspected that the earth is part of God’s genitalia, but we had assumed that it was a flatter portion of the reproductive organs, such as the skin of the scrotum.”

The scientist behind the theory, Samuel Woodley, explained, “This boundary-breaking discovery will help us understand what a flying comet could possibly be or why the moon always looks like it's smiling in a sort of creepy way.”

Unable to refute the overwhelming scientific evidence, the Flat Earth Society has grudgingly accepted the notion that the earth is one large, divine testicle.

At press time, Woodley was trying to figure out when God had last gotten a prostate exam.

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